Conversations with the ones I (mostly) love.

So tomorrow is Prince and Princesses day at school courtesy of Wills and Kate’s wedding on Friday which co-incidentally will also be 11 years to the day since I tied the knot with M who is J’s Dad.


J will not hear of just plain clothes for the day and so a trip is made into town to buy a readymade crown and a metre of gold fabric which can be twisted into a cloak without too much hassle.

J informs me that he would like several fancy buttons and adornments sewn onto the cloak. I inform J that I am crap at needlework and short on time so he will have the outfit which involves the least possible effort on my part but which looks as though I have gone the whole hog.

Back home J tries on the fancy crown and material cloak – Skype is up and running so I suggest we Skype Daddy to show him the costume which goes down a storm.

While in conversation with M I mention a plan to attend a silent retreat in October this year. M does not even pretend to hide his amusement but does agree to have J for the weekend as long as he can have a silent retreat in a Pub on my return. M then disappears from the screen saying “just a mo”.

The phone rings and it’s my Mum – M returns to the screen with guitar singing “Shine Jesus Shine” and generally takes the piss, he then suggests that if I am attending a silent retreat I also take my mother.

My mother asks if M is here and I say he is on Skype. My mother suggests I turn M off until he can behave.

M then begins to play out the role of “some poor monk who took a vow of silence in 1945 but then came across you two”.

I think it safe to say M is off the Xmas card list this year.

Meanwhile J is dressed not as a prince but “as a King” apparently and is beginning to enjoy ordering me around.

The cat is yowling in the kitchen because she has suddenly taken an abject dislike to the fancy overpriced spoilt animal cat food which starving cats in other places would be glad of. As the years progress she is rapidly becoming like our last cat Grace who was , according to M “the most pampered animal that God ever put breath into”. All signs are that Drusilla is headed the same way in the pampered animal stakes.

Oh and M is taking me out for dinner next week (oh yes you are dear – and I like my wine to be white, chilled and dry).