Consequences.....Or "keeping J in the classroom"

A charming little habit exhibited by J in his less polite moments is to storm from the classroom in a huff when he does not want to do something or if an activity does not go the way he expects. This has been a problem from Reception year onwards. In the Infant school they tolerated this little habit, monitored it and found other ways to teach what they needed to. The Junior school however, is made of sterner stuff and J now has consequences for leaving the classroom. It is very simple - if J leaves the classroom in a huff he loses one minute of playtime. The knock on effect of this is that J is NOT first in the queue at the tuck shop for his pretzels. When you consider that J's other two passions in life are "being first" in any queue and "food" then I I think you have to agree that the Junior school have hit on a pretty effective strategy. The storms from the classroom are already reducing and it's only the third week of term. Now if only I can find a way to adapt this strategy at home..........

Battle Hamsters.......

Last Christmas little girls everywhere went mad for Zhu Zhu Hamsters - sweet little chirping toy hamsters which could be fussed, dressed and groomed. They naturally has their own accessories and homes complete with hamster cars, houses and tracks. Even J was tempted and despite being a non gender bothered parent (J has a Baby Annabel doll - now sadly neglected) I declined to buy him one of these hamsters. I pointed out not unreasonably that he had his own real live hamster in thew shape of Dora and that these were girls toys. As J is at an age where you "don't play with girls toys" this seemed to settle the matter and we moved on with life.

Meanwhile somewhere in a no doubt luxurious board room, toy manufacturers were deep in discussion about the runaway success of their product. Zhu Zhu Hamsters were sold out everywhere and had been the "must have" toy of Christmas 2009. All around the country little girls were grooming and fussing over their toy hamsters and no doubt sorting out the track and play areas for their new "babies". Boys were opening whatever present they had and perhaps looking on with some envy at their sisters! Toy manufacturers were feeling a challenge........ "how" they thought "can we flog these hamsters to the boys out there"?

And then a bright spark realised that boys like battles, boys like armour, boys like crashes and action.

Ping!

"BATTLE HAMSTERS of all colours  - green, brown, grey, mottled with symbols on their backs and a mean look in the eyes".

"But what can we call them"?

Zhu Zhu Hamsters as a name was out because of the connotation with girls toys and no little boy of a certain age would be seen dead with a toy which had such connections. And so they thought and thought and then thought some more before realising that battle hamsters would have a dead hard name denoting their  years of dedication to battle and so Kung Zhu Hamsters were born.

J has wanted one since seeing the first advert - he now has two who both have armour and J plays with them non-stop. I can see a busy Xmas approaching and mindful of last year will be getting in early to prepare for a Christmas and a 20th December birthday. I think the Battle Arena will be a must.......

Snappy answers to annoying comments regarding autism.....

With full apologies and acknowlegement to the people I nicked this from and adapted.

If you're a parent with a child on the spectrum, you've probably responded to the same annoying remarks and questions a thousand times. Here's a handy list of responses that...you'll probably never use out loud (but are fun to imagine using)!

1. He can’t be autistic -- he can talk! (or make eye contact, smile, engage)
And yet, amazingly, he’s still autistic! Y’see, autism is a spectrum disorder, and that means …

2. Oh, he must be SO good at maths! (or science or music)
Actually, his great talent is in memorizing and reciting lines from Sponge Bob or anything else which helps him communicate his wants and needs or emotions.

3. All he needs is more discipline, and he’ll get the message. You need to be firmer with him.
Yup, it’s true -- if you give a child enough time outs, he’ll just stop being autistic. And if I speak French to you loudly enough, you’ll become fluent!

4. You poor thing, it must be so upsetting to have a child with a disability. (Thankfully nobody has ever said this to me about J)
Yes, it can be hard. And pity really helps me to get through the day and feel better about myself and my child. So…thanks so much!

5. Will he be able to go to college (or get married or hold down a job)?
Hm. Good question. By the way, has your daughter’s divorce been finalized yet? And I’m so sorry to hear that your son was recently laid off from his job…

6. I have a friend whose child was autistic, and she cured him!
Wow! So I guess she’s enjoying the millions she made after figuring out how to cure autism? I bet her second home is a yacht!

7. If he can’t behave properly, you shouldn’t BRING him shopping!
Wow -- that would be great. Should I fax you my grocery list, or send it by email? I’ll really enjoy the delivery service! (Actually I try my best to either shop online and get it all delivered or shop when J is at school)

8. We can’t include him in typical classes, it wouldn’t be fair to the other kids.
Hm, that’s an interesting perspective. So I guess you have a pretty big endowment to pay for all the law suits? That must be great!

Imagination

Looks just like a box doesn’t it?

But add a pillow case tied to a coat hanger and the inside of the kitchen roll and you have a boat with which to sail the seven seas.

We even had fish

I love imagination – it’s great.

The playroom.

A rapidly untidied playroom - hopefully rapidly tidied!

After two weeks away with his Dad and spending a lovely time in Wales with Nanna and Bapa J has returned home happy, healthy and lively. Oh how I have missed him - now he is back I feel complete again.

While J has been away we have had a spot of "Changing Rooms" and the spare room (full of junk and unloved) is now freshly painted and carpeted with a sofa bed, J's toys, and a rug with printed roads. J loves it - it's been done to try and give a distinct difference and feel between a room for play and a room for sleep. It's also been done to mark the fact that J is no longer a baby or small child but a big boy approaching 8 who is going into the juniors. As such it felt only right to give him a bigger boys room - he is delighted and the road rug promptly became a city with a police station and a zoo. The police station saw some use as driver after driver was stopped for speeding and thrown unceremoniously into the cells! I have made a mental note to steer J clear from a career in law enforcement for all our sakes.

Within two hours of J arriving home there were sweet wrappers in places there should not have been and sticky fingers everywhere. Oh well - getting organized in his absence was nice and housework can wait until we've finished playing.

I found the poem below several years ago and it sums me up perfectly.

I hope that my child, looking back on today

Will remember a mother who had time to play;

Because children grow up while you're not looking,

There are years ahead for cleaning and cooking.

So, quiet now cobwebs, dust go to sleep.

I'm playing with my child, and children don't keep.

 
Perfect.

The "Police State" City

Random thoughts................

A few weeks ago I was informed that an application for Disability Living Allowance for J had been successful and with this came some back pay.  With J away in Wales until next week (I am missing him sooooooo much) I have been doing a spot of "Changing Rooms" using the back pay. I am fortunate enough to have a spare room here and am hoping to create a play room for J in order to make a distinct difference in feel from a room to play and a room to sleep. At the same time I am looking at sensory lighting and relaxing colour for J's bedroom in order to make this a room to really relax and settle to sleep in. I am under no illusions that J will actually stay in bed because J is not like that but at least if the toys are out of the room it will curtail his activities somewhat. So the spare room has been painted and a carpet goes down on Wednesday after which I will offer the carpet fitters and extra £20 if they will help me get the heavy and bulky sofa bed up the stairs so that J's play room can have it's own little sofa.

We also have a new Hamster named Bramble who is tame and utterly gorgeous as you can see.

Bramble came from a lady near Colchester who is hamster mad and who breeds and homes very tame hamsters.

Drusilla my very naughty Tortie cat thinks Bramble is just delightful and spends many an evening sitting hopefully by the cage. Once the evening is over though Drusilla is unceremoniously evicted from the living room where the cage is and the door to the room is firmly shut. I am under no illusions about my cat.............




An application I made for re-housing has already been processed by Basildon Council. As they are still working on the applications for last November this is fabulous. My application has been processed because the form I completed regarding J was seen and assessed by the medical officer who has agreed we need rehousing on medical grounds and that J needs a garden. Having said that though there is a dearth of social housing and my priority banding means that it is likely I will be housed sometime in the next 7-10 years if I am lucky. However, the property we currently live in is coming down within the next five years (unless the coalition Govt decides otherwise) so we'll be re-housed then anyway. In the meantime J will have to continue being very active indoors or there is a park opposite. As J cannot be outside unsupervised this means I would have be with him - one reason why a garden with a tampoline he could go mad on would be great.

Finally and most importantly I had a phone call from the special educational needs team last week to tell me that J's case had been to their panel and that from September they will be assessing him for a Statement of Special Educational Need. I am over the moon about this as it will give J a guarenteed plan of support to help him access the curriculum in school. J's school has always been very good with their support but a Statement would ensure they receive the money needed to employ somebody specifically to be with J in school on a one to one basis. Brilliant!

So J - I am missing you and can't wait to have you home again. I know you are having fun with Daddy, Nanna and Bapa and am so glad you are enjoying yourself. I am looking forward to a cuddle with my darling boy but not looking forward to the first occasion when he loses his temper and stomps up the stairs.

Farewell Dora the Explorer

Goodbye our little furry friend

This is a beginning, not the end

Off to Hammie Heaven you go

Away from cold and rain and snow

Sunflower seeds and peanuts await

Sunshine and laughter for our very best mate

 

(with thanks to a Fab :-) Mumsnetter's son who wrote this poem about his hamster when it died)

 

RIP Dora -  a dear little hamster